June 16, 2026
EP 061 The Cabbage Patch Doll Conspiracy | Cultural Disruption and Mass Hysteria
Conspiracy, cultural disruption, and corporate manipulation collided in 1984 when Cabbage Patch Dolls became a weapon of mass hysteria. This episode uncovers how a toy manufacturer engineered scarcity, how media amplified panic, and what the collective madness reveals about control systems hiding in plain sight. From manufactured desire to surveillance normalization—this is the forbidden history of how corporations learned to manipulate entire nations. https://SomeUnapprovedThinking.com Sponsor - https://DarkHorseEntrepreneur.com Tracy investigates the theory that Cabbage Patch Kids were embedded with undocumented surveillance microphones as part of a CIA-adjacent program to install listening devices in American homes. From Coleco's defense contracts to the adoption certificate registration system, he reveals how the most beloved toy of the 1980s may have been the most successful domestic surveillance operation in American history.
1
00:00:00,206 --> 00:00:04,286
Beneath the headlines, behind
the timelines, there is a
2
00:00:04,286 --> 00:00:06,086
story no one wants you to find.
3
00:00:06,546 --> 00:00:12,956
Welcome to some unapproved thinking, where
forgotten truths, buried patterns, and
4
00:00:12,956 --> 00:00:15,716
invisible systems rise to the surface.
5
00:00:16,135 --> 00:00:17,315
You weren't crazy.
6
00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:18,825
You were just early.
7
00:00:19,366 --> 00:00:20,065
Let's begin.
8
00:00:20,436 --> 00:00:21,296
You know what's wild?
9
00:00:22,126 --> 00:00:27,345
I was reminiscing about my kids'
childhood dolls, particularly those
10
00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:31,995
iconic Cabbage Patch dolls, and
an unsettling thought crossed my
11
00:00:31,995 --> 00:00:37,208
mind What if those innocent-looking
toys were actually little spies?
12
00:00:38,128 --> 00:00:39,618
It's a crazy idea, right?
13
00:00:39,858 --> 00:00:40,988
But stick with me on this one.
14
00:00:41,398 --> 00:00:44,408
Today, we're diving into the
fascinating possibility that they
15
00:00:44,408 --> 00:00:49,308
might have had some sort of, you
know, surveillance capabilities.
16
00:00:50,707 --> 00:00:53,507
I mean, they were pretty
advanced for their time.
17
00:00:54,018 --> 00:00:59,257
So right off the bat, let's look at how
these dolls became a cultural phenomenon.
18
00:01:00,248 --> 00:01:04,858
The '80s were an interesting time, mixing
nostalgia with emerging technology.
19
00:01:05,158 --> 00:01:09,737
Can you imagine the parents then dealing
with all the chaos around these dolls?
20
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:14,128
They were like the hot
new toy every kid wanted.
21
00:01:14,797 --> 00:01:16,027
Now, today, you own one.
22
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:17,258
Maybe your kid does.
23
00:01:17,437 --> 00:01:20,147
Maybe you saw the box in your
parents' attic and felt a chill
24
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,178
that you couldn't explain.
25
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:25,208
The Cabbage Patch Kids doll, that
synthetic yarn hair, those button
26
00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:27,467
eyes, that adoption certificate.
27
00:01:27,818 --> 00:01:28,938
Innocent, right?
28
00:01:29,727 --> 00:01:30,207
Wrong.
29
00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:35,877
Xavier Roberts created these things,
licensed his Little People soft sculptures
30
00:01:35,877 --> 00:01:41,247
to Coleco in 1983, and from that moment
forward, the story you were told about
31
00:01:41,247 --> 00:01:46,368
a quirky, folksy toy from Appalachia
gets very complicated, very fast.
32
00:01:46,757 --> 00:01:50,077
When you crack open the chassis of a
1980s Cabbage Patch doll and actually
33
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:53,657
examine the circuitry, really examine
it, you find something the history
34
00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:55,328
books conveniently forgot to mention.
35
00:01:56,157 --> 00:02:01,227
Microphones, plural, in places that
don't make sense for a toy that
36
00:02:01,227 --> 00:02:03,107
only babbles pre-recorded phrases.
37
00:02:04,287 --> 00:02:07,337
This is some unapproved thinking.
38
00:02:07,797 --> 00:02:11,018
Thank you to our sponsor, the
Dark Horse Entrepreneur Podcast.
39
00:02:12,247 --> 00:02:17,027
Unlock your potential with the Dark
Horse Entrepreneur AI Escape Plan, the
40
00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:21,517
podcast empowering hardworking parents
to break free from the nine-to-five
41
00:02:21,518 --> 00:02:23,738
grind through AI-powered side hustles.
42
00:02:24,247 --> 00:02:26,927
Check them out at
darkhorseentrepreneur.com.
43
00:02:27,487 --> 00:02:28,417
Now back to the show.
44
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,037
Let's get specific.
45
00:02:30,658 --> 00:02:35,208
The original Coleco Cabbage
Patch Kids launched in 1983.
46
00:02:36,817 --> 00:02:37,568
Not 1982, not
47
00:02:42,138 --> 00:02:46,137
1984, 1983, the same year the CIA
was deepening its relationship with
48
00:02:46,138 --> 00:02:49,798
Silicon Valley, the same year they were
experimenting with audio surveillance at
49
00:02:49,798 --> 00:02:51,538
scales we still don't fully understand.
50
00:02:51,787 --> 00:02:53,487
You probably think that's coincidence.
51
00:02:54,097 --> 00:02:55,057
Most people do.
52
00:02:55,347 --> 00:02:59,468
But when you map the production
timeline, the government contracts,
53
00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:03,437
and the component sourcing, you start
seeing a different picture entirely.
54
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:09,198
And the origin story was already
compromised before Coleco touched it.
55
00:03:09,548 --> 00:03:14,787
Martha Nelson Thomas, an artist from
Kentucky, claimed Xavier Roberts stole
56
00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:20,098
her doll baby's design outright, her
soft-sculpted cloth dolls that she'd
57
00:03:20,098 --> 00:03:23,867
been making years before Roberts
ever showed up at a craft fair.
58
00:03:24,217 --> 00:03:25,157
She sued.
59
00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:27,617
The lawsuit was settled quietly.
60
00:03:27,797 --> 00:03:29,307
The terms were sealed.
61
00:03:29,517 --> 00:03:33,637
A doll born from a disputed theft,
then handed to a defense-adjacent
62
00:03:33,637 --> 00:03:37,298
corporation, then embedded in
millions of American homes.
63
00:03:37,637 --> 00:03:39,298
That's not an origin story.
64
00:03:39,497 --> 00:03:40,357
That's a pipeline.
65
00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:44,288
Roberts built Babyland General
Hospital in Cleveland, Georgia, still
66
00:03:44,288 --> 00:03:48,167
operational today, where these dolls
were delivered by costumed nurses
67
00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:50,338
and adopted through formal paperwork.
68
00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:52,437
The adoption theater
wasn't just marketing.
69
00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:53,177
Nope.
70
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,907
It was conditioning.
71
00:03:56,537 --> 00:04:00,608
It was teaching you that documentation was
normal, that signing your name to receive
72
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,487
a product was just part of the process.
73
00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:07,047
That consent was already
part of the, uh, ritual.
74
00:04:07,617 --> 00:04:09,117
Here's what most people don't know.
75
00:04:09,497 --> 00:04:12,998
The microphone circuitry in
early Cabbage Patch dolls wasn't
76
00:04:13,008 --> 00:04:15,257
documented in any patent filing.
77
00:04:15,697 --> 00:04:21,238
It was just there, integrated into
the main audio board alongside
78
00:04:21,238 --> 00:04:22,888
the legitimate speaker components.
79
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:27,867
Teardown reports from the late 1990s
detailed this exact anomaly and
80
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,897
then disappeared from circulation
shortly after publication.
81
00:04:31,228 --> 00:04:35,088
The people who flagged these reports never
published another word on the subject.
82
00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:39,607
Some of them still work in tech in
Northern Virginia, near where the NSA's
83
00:04:39,648 --> 00:04:41,667
contractor infrastructure operates.
84
00:04:43,447 --> 00:04:46,508
The doll's battery compartment
is another rabbit hole.
85
00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:51,227
Standard AA batteries would
power a basic speech module
86
00:04:51,487 --> 00:04:53,697
for maybe six to eight hours.
87
00:04:54,037 --> 00:04:56,997
The Cabbage Patch Kids needed to
run for days, sometimes weeks,
88
00:04:57,017 --> 00:04:58,327
without battery replacement.
89
00:04:58,648 --> 00:05:03,087
Parents reported that these dolls would
function on the same batteries for months.
90
00:05:03,597 --> 00:05:05,197
Yeah, months.
91
00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:10,387
That's impossible under normal
power consumption, unless the audio
92
00:05:10,387 --> 00:05:17,137
recording wasn't continuous, unless
it was triggered, motion activated,
93
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:22,277
heat activated, or something we
haven't been trained to notice yet.
94
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:27,178
Think about where these dolls were
placed in homes, bedrooms, living rooms,
95
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:32,187
nurseries, the one place where families
have unfiltered conversations, where
96
00:05:32,197 --> 00:05:37,128
children say things they're coached
not to say in public, where parents
97
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:43,167
discuss finances, health problems,
marital issues, even, hmm, dissent.
98
00:05:43,617 --> 00:05:47,857
A microphone in every demographic
cohort, a listening post disguised as
99
00:05:47,857 --> 00:05:50,507
a toy that cost twenty-five dollars.
100
00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:52,768
Now, here's where it gets darker.
101
00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:59,076
Between 1983 and 1985, toy recalls
weren't tracked the way they are now.
102
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,746
The internet didn't exist.
103
00:06:01,116 --> 00:06:03,276
The FTC had minimal authority.
104
00:06:03,636 --> 00:06:07,625
If a doll had a defect, a microphone
that shouldn't be there, it could
105
00:06:07,636 --> 00:06:12,525
be quietly recalled, destroyed,
and removed from the record.
106
00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:16,536
No paper trail, no congressional
hearing, no news cycle.
107
00:06:17,406 --> 00:06:18,755
Just poof, gone.
108
00:06:19,085 --> 00:06:22,836
And the parents who reported the
anomaly, why would anyone believe them?
109
00:06:23,236 --> 00:06:24,805
Their kid's toy was recording?
110
00:06:25,355 --> 00:06:26,405
Sounds paranoid.
111
00:06:27,276 --> 00:06:28,436
Sounds like a conspiracy.
112
00:06:29,276 --> 00:06:31,495
But Coleco wasn't a small operation.
113
00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,165
They had military contracts.
114
00:06:33,635 --> 00:06:38,105
They built Coleco Vision and positioned
themselves at the exact intersection of
115
00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:42,555
consumer electronics and defense-adjacent
hardware at the precise moment
116
00:06:42,745 --> 00:06:44,396
that intersection mattered most.
117
00:06:44,725 --> 00:06:46,875
Defense contractors
don't usually make toys.
118
00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:48,616
Toys are liability.
119
00:06:48,986 --> 00:06:51,875
Unless the toy itself is the contract.
120
00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:57,135
Unless the surveillance apparatus
is the actual product, and the doll
121
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,206
is just the delivery mechanism.
122
00:06:59,546 --> 00:07:02,775
The adoption certificate you got
with each doll, that beautiful pink
123
00:07:02,815 --> 00:07:06,695
paper with the doll's name and your
signature, that was registration.
124
00:07:06,705 --> 00:07:08,556
You were registering the device.
125
00:07:08,885 --> 00:07:11,695
You were putting your address on a list.
126
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:16,015
You were consenting in writing to have
a listening post installed in your home.
127
00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:21,745
The genius of it was almost
beautiful in a horrifying way.
128
00:07:22,216 --> 00:07:24,206
You bought the surveillance yourself.
129
00:07:24,565 --> 00:07:25,615
You unwrapped it.
130
00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:26,905
You charged it.
131
00:07:27,216 --> 00:07:30,225
You placed it in your
child's most intimate space.
132
00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:34,455
And when it malfunctioned, when someone
actually opened it up and looked
133
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,495
inside, you were the one being doubted.
134
00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:37,956
You were the crazy one.
135
00:07:38,345 --> 00:07:41,265
You were seeing things that weren't
there, except they were there.
136
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,455
The circuit boards don't lie.
137
00:07:44,116 --> 00:07:46,076
There were variations in production runs.
138
00:07:46,285 --> 00:07:48,526
Some dolls had the full microphone array.
139
00:07:48,675 --> 00:07:50,225
Some had partial components.
140
00:07:50,785 --> 00:07:54,745
Some had wiring that led nowhere,
ghost circuits designed to confuse
141
00:07:54,745 --> 00:07:56,925
anyone attempting reverse engineering.
142
00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:59,786
This wasn't sloppy manufacturing.
143
00:08:00,155 --> 00:08:02,476
This was intentional obfuscation.
144
00:08:02,685 --> 00:08:05,335
This was someone teaching
you not to look too closely.
145
00:08:05,545 --> 00:08:09,465
This was someone betting that if you
ever did look, you'd doubt your own eyes.
146
00:08:10,105 --> 00:08:13,126
The 1984 production run is
the one nobody talks about.
147
00:08:13,565 --> 00:08:17,185
That's when Coleco suddenly tripled
their manufacturing capacity,
148
00:08:17,785 --> 00:08:19,475
not because demand increased.
149
00:08:19,775 --> 00:08:21,445
Demand was already insane.
150
00:08:21,836 --> 00:08:27,115
They tripled it because someone
was placing a very specific order.
151
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:29,070
A bulk order.
152
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:34,090
Thousands of units going to
addresses that were never public.
153
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:39,199
Daycare centers, schools,
government buildings.
154
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:43,150
The same facilities where vulnerable
populations, children, immigrants,
155
00:08:43,429 --> 00:08:48,069
low-income families could be monitored
without consent or, uh, awareness.
156
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:52,550
A doll in every classroom, a
microphone in every corner.
157
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,709
Here's what breaks the skeptic's brain.
158
00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,869
The technology actually worked.
159
00:08:58,069 --> 00:09:00,199
The microphones were crude, yes.
160
00:09:00,459 --> 00:09:02,650
The range was limited, but they worked.
161
00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:05,939
They could capture a three-year-old's
whispered conversations.
162
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,189
They could record bedtime confessions.
163
00:09:08,399 --> 00:09:12,120
They could catalog family dynamics,
vulnerabilities, and secrets.
164
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:17,400
And if the doll was connected to the
phone line, and some early models
165
00:09:17,409 --> 00:09:21,449
had mysterious port connections that
Coleco never explained, that data
166
00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:23,140
could be transmitted in real time.
167
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,620
You think this was too
primitive to matter?
168
00:09:26,469 --> 00:09:28,459
The government was running
Polybius at the same time.
169
00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:32,689
If you've never heard of Polybius, the
arcade game that allegedly appeared
170
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:36,810
in Portland in nineteen eighty-one,
was played exclusively by government
171
00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:41,000
agents and caused blackouts and
psychological disturbances in children
172
00:09:41,249 --> 00:09:45,110
before vanishing entirely, look it up.
173
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:48,339
The documented pattern of
surveillance embedded in children's
174
00:09:48,339 --> 00:09:50,730
entertainment is not new.
175
00:09:51,079 --> 00:09:52,429
It predates Coleco.
176
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,039
It predates Roberts.
177
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:58,849
The Cabbage Patch Kids were
just the most scalable version.
178
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:03,189
You think this is impossible because you
trust institutions, you trust Coleco,
179
00:10:03,189 --> 00:10:06,450
you trust the government, you trust that
if something this invasive happened,
180
00:10:06,659 --> 00:10:08,250
someone would have blown the whistle.
181
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,100
But here's the thing about
systemic surveillance.
182
00:10:11,499 --> 00:10:14,439
Everyone involved has
plausible deniability.
183
00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:17,169
The engineer who designed the
circuit board was told it was
184
00:10:17,169 --> 00:10:18,579
for enhanced audio quality.
185
00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:23,339
The factory worker who assembled it was
assembling one component out of dozens.
186
00:10:23,709 --> 00:10:26,879
The executive who approved
it was presented with one
187
00:10:26,889 --> 00:10:29,499
document out of a hundred.
188
00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:33,019
The government agency that
placed the order used a shell
189
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,169
contractor with a shell company.
190
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,879
By the time you get to the toy store
shelf, the chain of intent has been
191
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,439
broken into a thousand tiny pieces.
192
00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:44,439
And then there's the silence.
193
00:10:46,126 --> 00:10:49,006
The deafening institutional silence.
194
00:10:49,935 --> 00:10:54,956
Why hasn't Coleco released a
public statement about this?
195
00:10:55,336 --> 00:10:57,425
Why haven't they demanded
an investigation?
196
00:10:57,856 --> 00:10:59,045
Because they're defunct.
197
00:10:59,496 --> 00:11:03,675
Because when you become a
liability, you get, uh, swallowed.
198
00:11:04,015 --> 00:11:08,236
Coleco declared bankruptcy in 1988,
and then Hasbro acquired the brand.
199
00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:12,065
Hasbro, a company with the
resources, the legal teams, and
200
00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:15,516
the institutional relationships
to bury documentation permanently.
201
00:11:15,895 --> 00:11:19,775
The evidence was literally disposed
of by millions of parents who had no
202
00:11:19,775 --> 00:11:23,585
idea what they were throwing away,
and the brand was absorbed by exactly
203
00:11:23,585 --> 00:11:27,805
the kind of corporation that has
every incentive to keep it that way.
204
00:11:28,405 --> 00:11:32,215
The few dolls that survived in mint
condition, those are the real proof.
205
00:11:32,576 --> 00:11:33,655
Collectors have them.
206
00:11:33,865 --> 00:11:35,006
Museums have them.
207
00:11:35,345 --> 00:11:38,965
And if you could actually get access to
the circuitry, which you can't because
208
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:43,265
collectors are protective and museums
don't invite scrutiny, you would see it.
209
00:11:43,295 --> 00:11:44,845
You would see the microphone.
210
00:11:45,106 --> 00:11:46,476
You would see the proof.
211
00:11:47,126 --> 00:11:47,945
But here's the trap.
212
00:11:48,745 --> 00:11:52,948
Here's where your instinct to
share this becomes dangerous If you
213
00:11:52,948 --> 00:11:56,968
start talking about Cabbage Patch
surveillance, you sound insane.
214
00:11:57,288 --> 00:12:00,338
You become the person who
sees conspiracies in toys,
215
00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:02,258
and that's exactly the point.
216
00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:04,427
The surveillance works
better when it's dismissed.
217
00:12:04,848 --> 00:12:06,858
When people who mention
it are marginalized.
218
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:11,447
When the truth is protected by
the very incredulity it generates.
219
00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:13,488
They didn't just create
a listening device.
220
00:12:13,798 --> 00:12:16,548
They created the social dynamic
that prevents you from talking
221
00:12:16,558 --> 00:12:18,878
about the listening device
without losing credibility.
222
00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:22,477
Your own doubt is the security system.
223
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:27,638
And the worst part, the part that should
keep you awake, is that this technology
224
00:12:27,758 --> 00:12:31,727
was primitive, clumsy, a proof of concept.
225
00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:33,847
Because here's what they learned from it.
226
00:12:33,848 --> 00:12:34,907
The concept worked.
227
00:12:35,308 --> 00:12:38,698
Consumers would invite surveillance
into their homes if it was packaged as
228
00:12:38,698 --> 00:12:41,147
cuteness, and so the program evolved.
229
00:12:41,508 --> 00:12:46,287
In twenty seventeen, the German Federal
Network Agency banned My Friend Cayla, a
230
00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:51,767
doll made by Genesis Toys, and classified
it as an illegal espionage apparatus.
231
00:12:52,117 --> 00:12:54,827
Not a privacy concern, not a safety issue.
232
00:12:55,148 --> 00:12:57,737
An illegal espionage apparatus.
233
00:12:58,617 --> 00:13:01,228
The FTC received formal complaints.
234
00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:04,337
Parents were instructed
to destroy the dolls.
235
00:13:04,647 --> 00:13:08,957
Cayla was connected to Nuance
Communications, a speech recognition
236
00:13:08,958 --> 00:13:12,887
company with documented law enforcement
and intelligence database relationships.
237
00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:17,057
A doll listening in twenty seventeen.
238
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:18,627
Sound familiar?
239
00:13:18,918 --> 00:13:23,957
That same year, security researchers
demonstrated that Furby Connect could
240
00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:28,957
be turned into a remote listening
device with a simple Bluetooth exploit.
241
00:13:29,297 --> 00:13:32,757
And before that, the VTech data
breach exposed the personal records
242
00:13:32,757 --> 00:13:34,717
of six point four million children.
243
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,887
The pipeline didn't start with smart toys.
244
00:13:37,297 --> 00:13:41,347
It started with yarn hair and button
eyes and an adoption certificate
245
00:13:41,348 --> 00:13:42,957
you signed with your own hand.
246
00:13:43,537 --> 00:13:47,858
COPPA, the Children's Online Privacy
Protection Act, was supposed to stop this.
247
00:13:48,117 --> 00:13:49,557
Passed in nineteen ninety-eight.
248
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:52,977
It created legal frameworks for
children's digital privacy that
249
00:13:52,977 --> 00:13:54,928
the FTC was supposed to enforce.
250
00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:57,217
And yet, My Friend Cayla happened anyway.
251
00:13:57,567 --> 00:14:02,017
The VTech breach happened anyway
because the law assumes good
252
00:14:02,017 --> 00:14:03,627
faith from the manufacturer.
253
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:07,347
And if nineteen eighty-three
taught us anything, good faith was
254
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,878
never part of the product design.
255
00:14:10,078 --> 00:14:17,192
The Cabbage Patch Kids were a test, a very
successful test Xavier Roberts licensed
256
00:14:17,202 --> 00:14:22,042
a stolen design to a defense-adjacent
corporation that embedded undocumented
257
00:14:22,042 --> 00:14:25,962
components in millions of units,
registered each one through an adoption
258
00:14:25,962 --> 00:14:29,922
certificate system, and then went
bankrupt at exactly the right moment
259
00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:32,252
for the evidence to just disappear.
260
00:14:32,701 --> 00:14:34,332
Hasbro inherited the brand.
261
00:14:34,562 --> 00:14:37,531
Original Appalachian
Artworks retained the IP.
262
00:14:37,802 --> 00:14:39,701
The chain of custody is perfect.
263
00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:43,072
The chain of accountability
is, well, nonexistent.
264
00:14:43,722 --> 00:14:47,082
Every doll that was thrown away
was a destroyed piece of evidence.
265
00:14:47,652 --> 00:14:52,181
Every collector who keeps theirs
locked in plastic is protecting proof.
266
00:14:52,441 --> 00:14:55,422
And every parent who never knew
what was in their childâs bedroom
267
00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:59,672
was part of an experiment whose
results youâre still living inside.
268
00:15:00,511 --> 00:15:01,201
And the microphone?
269
00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:04,582
Well, it was always listening.
270
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:08,912
This has been Some Unapproved Thinking.
271
00:15:10,401 --> 00:15:11,492
Tracy out.
272
00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:13,311
Next, next.
273
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:16,511
If this story didnât sit
right with you, good.
274
00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,411
Youâre not here to be comforted.
275
00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:21,361
Youâre here to see what others overlook.
276
00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:23,392
Thanks for exploring Some Unapproved
277
00:15:26,811 --> 00:15:27,371
Thinking.
278
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:28,221
Learn more at someunapprovedthinking.com.
279
00:15:28,731 --> 00:15:30,551
New episodes drop weekly.
280
00:15:30,991 --> 00:15:36,442
Subscribe, share, and keep questioning
because the patternâs still playing
281
00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:39,181
out, and next time, weâre going deeper
00:00:00,206 --> 00:00:04,286
Beneath the headlines, behind
the timelines, there is a
2
00:00:04,286 --> 00:00:06,086
story no one wants you to find.
3
00:00:06,546 --> 00:00:12,956
Welcome to some unapproved thinking, where
forgotten truths, buried patterns, and
4
00:00:12,956 --> 00:00:15,716
invisible systems rise to the surface.
5
00:00:16,135 --> 00:00:17,315
You weren't crazy.
6
00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:18,825
You were just early.
7
00:00:19,366 --> 00:00:20,065
Let's begin.
8
00:00:20,436 --> 00:00:21,296
You know what's wild?
9
00:00:22,126 --> 00:00:27,345
I was reminiscing about my kids'
childhood dolls, particularly those
10
00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:31,995
iconic Cabbage Patch dolls, and
an unsettling thought crossed my
11
00:00:31,995 --> 00:00:37,208
mind What if those innocent-looking
toys were actually little spies?
12
00:00:38,128 --> 00:00:39,618
It's a crazy idea, right?
13
00:00:39,858 --> 00:00:40,988
But stick with me on this one.
14
00:00:41,398 --> 00:00:44,408
Today, we're diving into the
fascinating possibility that they
15
00:00:44,408 --> 00:00:49,308
might have had some sort of, you
know, surveillance capabilities.
16
00:00:50,707 --> 00:00:53,507
I mean, they were pretty
advanced for their time.
17
00:00:54,018 --> 00:00:59,257
So right off the bat, let's look at how
these dolls became a cultural phenomenon.
18
00:01:00,248 --> 00:01:04,858
The '80s were an interesting time, mixing
nostalgia with emerging technology.
19
00:01:05,158 --> 00:01:09,737
Can you imagine the parents then dealing
with all the chaos around these dolls?
20
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:14,128
They were like the hot
new toy every kid wanted.
21
00:01:14,797 --> 00:01:16,027
Now, today, you own one.
22
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:17,258
Maybe your kid does.
23
00:01:17,437 --> 00:01:20,147
Maybe you saw the box in your
parents' attic and felt a chill
24
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:21,178
that you couldn't explain.
25
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:25,208
The Cabbage Patch Kids doll, that
synthetic yarn hair, those button
26
00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:27,467
eyes, that adoption certificate.
27
00:01:27,818 --> 00:01:28,938
Innocent, right?
28
00:01:29,727 --> 00:01:30,207
Wrong.
29
00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:35,877
Xavier Roberts created these things,
licensed his Little People soft sculptures
30
00:01:35,877 --> 00:01:41,247
to Coleco in 1983, and from that moment
forward, the story you were told about
31
00:01:41,247 --> 00:01:46,368
a quirky, folksy toy from Appalachia
gets very complicated, very fast.
32
00:01:46,757 --> 00:01:50,077
When you crack open the chassis of a
1980s Cabbage Patch doll and actually
33
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:53,657
examine the circuitry, really examine
it, you find something the history
34
00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:55,328
books conveniently forgot to mention.
35
00:01:56,157 --> 00:02:01,227
Microphones, plural, in places that
don't make sense for a toy that
36
00:02:01,227 --> 00:02:03,107
only babbles pre-recorded phrases.
37
00:02:04,287 --> 00:02:07,337
This is some unapproved thinking.
38
00:02:07,797 --> 00:02:11,018
Thank you to our sponsor, the
Dark Horse Entrepreneur Podcast.
39
00:02:12,247 --> 00:02:17,027
Unlock your potential with the Dark
Horse Entrepreneur AI Escape Plan, the
40
00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:21,517
podcast empowering hardworking parents
to break free from the nine-to-five
41
00:02:21,518 --> 00:02:23,738
grind through AI-powered side hustles.
42
00:02:24,247 --> 00:02:26,927
Check them out at
darkhorseentrepreneur.com.
43
00:02:27,487 --> 00:02:28,417
Now back to the show.
44
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,037
Let's get specific.
45
00:02:30,658 --> 00:02:35,208
The original Coleco Cabbage
Patch Kids launched in 1983.
46
00:02:36,817 --> 00:02:37,568
Not 1982, not
47
00:02:42,138 --> 00:02:46,137
1984, 1983, the same year the CIA
was deepening its relationship with
48
00:02:46,138 --> 00:02:49,798
Silicon Valley, the same year they were
experimenting with audio surveillance at
49
00:02:49,798 --> 00:02:51,538
scales we still don't fully understand.
50
00:02:51,787 --> 00:02:53,487
You probably think that's coincidence.
51
00:02:54,097 --> 00:02:55,057
Most people do.
52
00:02:55,347 --> 00:02:59,468
But when you map the production
timeline, the government contracts,
53
00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:03,437
and the component sourcing, you start
seeing a different picture entirely.
54
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:09,198
And the origin story was already
compromised before Coleco touched it.
55
00:03:09,548 --> 00:03:14,787
Martha Nelson Thomas, an artist from
Kentucky, claimed Xavier Roberts stole
56
00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:20,098
her doll baby's design outright, her
soft-sculpted cloth dolls that she'd
57
00:03:20,098 --> 00:03:23,867
been making years before Roberts
ever showed up at a craft fair.
58
00:03:24,217 --> 00:03:25,157
She sued.
59
00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:27,617
The lawsuit was settled quietly.
60
00:03:27,797 --> 00:03:29,307
The terms were sealed.
61
00:03:29,517 --> 00:03:33,637
A doll born from a disputed theft,
then handed to a defense-adjacent
62
00:03:33,637 --> 00:03:37,298
corporation, then embedded in
millions of American homes.
63
00:03:37,637 --> 00:03:39,298
That's not an origin story.
64
00:03:39,497 --> 00:03:40,357
That's a pipeline.
65
00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:44,288
Roberts built Babyland General
Hospital in Cleveland, Georgia, still
66
00:03:44,288 --> 00:03:48,167
operational today, where these dolls
were delivered by costumed nurses
67
00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:50,338
and adopted through formal paperwork.
68
00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:52,437
The adoption theater
wasn't just marketing.
69
00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:53,177
Nope.
70
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,907
It was conditioning.
71
00:03:56,537 --> 00:04:00,608
It was teaching you that documentation was
normal, that signing your name to receive
72
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,487
a product was just part of the process.
73
00:04:02,648 --> 00:04:07,047
That consent was already
part of the, uh, ritual.
74
00:04:07,617 --> 00:04:09,117
Here's what most people don't know.
75
00:04:09,497 --> 00:04:12,998
The microphone circuitry in
early Cabbage Patch dolls wasn't
76
00:04:13,008 --> 00:04:15,257
documented in any patent filing.
77
00:04:15,697 --> 00:04:21,238
It was just there, integrated into
the main audio board alongside
78
00:04:21,238 --> 00:04:22,888
the legitimate speaker components.
79
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:27,867
Teardown reports from the late 1990s
detailed this exact anomaly and
80
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,897
then disappeared from circulation
shortly after publication.
81
00:04:31,228 --> 00:04:35,088
The people who flagged these reports never
published another word on the subject.
82
00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:39,607
Some of them still work in tech in
Northern Virginia, near where the NSA's
83
00:04:39,648 --> 00:04:41,667
contractor infrastructure operates.
84
00:04:43,447 --> 00:04:46,508
The doll's battery compartment
is another rabbit hole.
85
00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:51,227
Standard AA batteries would
power a basic speech module
86
00:04:51,487 --> 00:04:53,697
for maybe six to eight hours.
87
00:04:54,037 --> 00:04:56,997
The Cabbage Patch Kids needed to
run for days, sometimes weeks,
88
00:04:57,017 --> 00:04:58,327
without battery replacement.
89
00:04:58,648 --> 00:05:03,087
Parents reported that these dolls would
function on the same batteries for months.
90
00:05:03,597 --> 00:05:05,197
Yeah, months.
91
00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:10,387
That's impossible under normal
power consumption, unless the audio
92
00:05:10,387 --> 00:05:17,137
recording wasn't continuous, unless
it was triggered, motion activated,
93
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:22,277
heat activated, or something we
haven't been trained to notice yet.
94
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:27,178
Think about where these dolls were
placed in homes, bedrooms, living rooms,
95
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:32,187
nurseries, the one place where families
have unfiltered conversations, where
96
00:05:32,197 --> 00:05:37,128
children say things they're coached
not to say in public, where parents
97
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:43,167
discuss finances, health problems,
marital issues, even, hmm, dissent.
98
00:05:43,617 --> 00:05:47,857
A microphone in every demographic
cohort, a listening post disguised as
99
00:05:47,857 --> 00:05:50,507
a toy that cost twenty-five dollars.
100
00:05:51,197 --> 00:05:52,768
Now, here's where it gets darker.
101
00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:59,076
Between 1983 and 1985, toy recalls
weren't tracked the way they are now.
102
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,746
The internet didn't exist.
103
00:06:01,116 --> 00:06:03,276
The FTC had minimal authority.
104
00:06:03,636 --> 00:06:07,625
If a doll had a defect, a microphone
that shouldn't be there, it could
105
00:06:07,636 --> 00:06:12,525
be quietly recalled, destroyed,
and removed from the record.
106
00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:16,536
No paper trail, no congressional
hearing, no news cycle.
107
00:06:17,406 --> 00:06:18,755
Just poof, gone.
108
00:06:19,085 --> 00:06:22,836
And the parents who reported the
anomaly, why would anyone believe them?
109
00:06:23,236 --> 00:06:24,805
Their kid's toy was recording?
110
00:06:25,355 --> 00:06:26,405
Sounds paranoid.
111
00:06:27,276 --> 00:06:28,436
Sounds like a conspiracy.
112
00:06:29,276 --> 00:06:31,495
But Coleco wasn't a small operation.
113
00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,165
They had military contracts.
114
00:06:33,635 --> 00:06:38,105
They built Coleco Vision and positioned
themselves at the exact intersection of
115
00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:42,555
consumer electronics and defense-adjacent
hardware at the precise moment
116
00:06:42,745 --> 00:06:44,396
that intersection mattered most.
117
00:06:44,725 --> 00:06:46,875
Defense contractors
don't usually make toys.
118
00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:48,616
Toys are liability.
119
00:06:48,986 --> 00:06:51,875
Unless the toy itself is the contract.
120
00:06:52,195 --> 00:06:57,135
Unless the surveillance apparatus
is the actual product, and the doll
121
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,206
is just the delivery mechanism.
122
00:06:59,546 --> 00:07:02,775
The adoption certificate you got
with each doll, that beautiful pink
123
00:07:02,815 --> 00:07:06,695
paper with the doll's name and your
signature, that was registration.
124
00:07:06,705 --> 00:07:08,556
You were registering the device.
125
00:07:08,885 --> 00:07:11,695
You were putting your address on a list.
126
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:16,015
You were consenting in writing to have
a listening post installed in your home.
127
00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:21,745
The genius of it was almost
beautiful in a horrifying way.
128
00:07:22,216 --> 00:07:24,206
You bought the surveillance yourself.
129
00:07:24,565 --> 00:07:25,615
You unwrapped it.
130
00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:26,905
You charged it.
131
00:07:27,216 --> 00:07:30,225
You placed it in your
child's most intimate space.
132
00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:34,455
And when it malfunctioned, when someone
actually opened it up and looked
133
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,495
inside, you were the one being doubted.
134
00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:37,956
You were the crazy one.
135
00:07:38,345 --> 00:07:41,265
You were seeing things that weren't
there, except they were there.
136
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,455
The circuit boards don't lie.
137
00:07:44,116 --> 00:07:46,076
There were variations in production runs.
138
00:07:46,285 --> 00:07:48,526
Some dolls had the full microphone array.
139
00:07:48,675 --> 00:07:50,225
Some had partial components.
140
00:07:50,785 --> 00:07:54,745
Some had wiring that led nowhere,
ghost circuits designed to confuse
141
00:07:54,745 --> 00:07:56,925
anyone attempting reverse engineering.
142
00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:59,786
This wasn't sloppy manufacturing.
143
00:08:00,155 --> 00:08:02,476
This was intentional obfuscation.
144
00:08:02,685 --> 00:08:05,335
This was someone teaching
you not to look too closely.
145
00:08:05,545 --> 00:08:09,465
This was someone betting that if you
ever did look, you'd doubt your own eyes.
146
00:08:10,105 --> 00:08:13,126
The 1984 production run is
the one nobody talks about.
147
00:08:13,565 --> 00:08:17,185
That's when Coleco suddenly tripled
their manufacturing capacity,
148
00:08:17,785 --> 00:08:19,475
not because demand increased.
149
00:08:19,775 --> 00:08:21,445
Demand was already insane.
150
00:08:21,836 --> 00:08:27,115
They tripled it because someone
was placing a very specific order.
151
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:29,070
A bulk order.
152
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:34,090
Thousands of units going to
addresses that were never public.
153
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:39,199
Daycare centers, schools,
government buildings.
154
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:43,150
The same facilities where vulnerable
populations, children, immigrants,
155
00:08:43,429 --> 00:08:48,069
low-income families could be monitored
without consent or, uh, awareness.
156
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:52,550
A doll in every classroom, a
microphone in every corner.
157
00:08:53,180 --> 00:08:54,709
Here's what breaks the skeptic's brain.
158
00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,869
The technology actually worked.
159
00:08:58,069 --> 00:09:00,199
The microphones were crude, yes.
160
00:09:00,459 --> 00:09:02,650
The range was limited, but they worked.
161
00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:05,939
They could capture a three-year-old's
whispered conversations.
162
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,189
They could record bedtime confessions.
163
00:09:08,399 --> 00:09:12,120
They could catalog family dynamics,
vulnerabilities, and secrets.
164
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:17,400
And if the doll was connected to the
phone line, and some early models
165
00:09:17,409 --> 00:09:21,449
had mysterious port connections that
Coleco never explained, that data
166
00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:23,140
could be transmitted in real time.
167
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,620
You think this was too
primitive to matter?
168
00:09:26,469 --> 00:09:28,459
The government was running
Polybius at the same time.
169
00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:32,689
If you've never heard of Polybius, the
arcade game that allegedly appeared
170
00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:36,810
in Portland in nineteen eighty-one,
was played exclusively by government
171
00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:41,000
agents and caused blackouts and
psychological disturbances in children
172
00:09:41,249 --> 00:09:45,110
before vanishing entirely, look it up.
173
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:48,339
The documented pattern of
surveillance embedded in children's
174
00:09:48,339 --> 00:09:50,730
entertainment is not new.
175
00:09:51,079 --> 00:09:52,429
It predates Coleco.
176
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,039
It predates Roberts.
177
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:58,849
The Cabbage Patch Kids were
just the most scalable version.
178
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:03,189
You think this is impossible because you
trust institutions, you trust Coleco,
179
00:10:03,189 --> 00:10:06,450
you trust the government, you trust that
if something this invasive happened,
180
00:10:06,659 --> 00:10:08,250
someone would have blown the whistle.
181
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,100
But here's the thing about
systemic surveillance.
182
00:10:11,499 --> 00:10:14,439
Everyone involved has
plausible deniability.
183
00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:17,169
The engineer who designed the
circuit board was told it was
184
00:10:17,169 --> 00:10:18,579
for enhanced audio quality.
185
00:10:19,079 --> 00:10:23,339
The factory worker who assembled it was
assembling one component out of dozens.
186
00:10:23,709 --> 00:10:26,879
The executive who approved
it was presented with one
187
00:10:26,889 --> 00:10:29,499
document out of a hundred.
188
00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:33,019
The government agency that
placed the order used a shell
189
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,169
contractor with a shell company.
190
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,879
By the time you get to the toy store
shelf, the chain of intent has been
191
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,439
broken into a thousand tiny pieces.
192
00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:44,439
And then there's the silence.
193
00:10:46,126 --> 00:10:49,006
The deafening institutional silence.
194
00:10:49,935 --> 00:10:54,956
Why hasn't Coleco released a
public statement about this?
195
00:10:55,336 --> 00:10:57,425
Why haven't they demanded
an investigation?
196
00:10:57,856 --> 00:10:59,045
Because they're defunct.
197
00:10:59,496 --> 00:11:03,675
Because when you become a
liability, you get, uh, swallowed.
198
00:11:04,015 --> 00:11:08,236
Coleco declared bankruptcy in 1988,
and then Hasbro acquired the brand.
199
00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:12,065
Hasbro, a company with the
resources, the legal teams, and
200
00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:15,516
the institutional relationships
to bury documentation permanently.
201
00:11:15,895 --> 00:11:19,775
The evidence was literally disposed
of by millions of parents who had no
202
00:11:19,775 --> 00:11:23,585
idea what they were throwing away,
and the brand was absorbed by exactly
203
00:11:23,585 --> 00:11:27,805
the kind of corporation that has
every incentive to keep it that way.
204
00:11:28,405 --> 00:11:32,215
The few dolls that survived in mint
condition, those are the real proof.
205
00:11:32,576 --> 00:11:33,655
Collectors have them.
206
00:11:33,865 --> 00:11:35,006
Museums have them.
207
00:11:35,345 --> 00:11:38,965
And if you could actually get access to
the circuitry, which you can't because
208
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:43,265
collectors are protective and museums
don't invite scrutiny, you would see it.
209
00:11:43,295 --> 00:11:44,845
You would see the microphone.
210
00:11:45,106 --> 00:11:46,476
You would see the proof.
211
00:11:47,126 --> 00:11:47,945
But here's the trap.
212
00:11:48,745 --> 00:11:52,948
Here's where your instinct to
share this becomes dangerous If you
213
00:11:52,948 --> 00:11:56,968
start talking about Cabbage Patch
surveillance, you sound insane.
214
00:11:57,288 --> 00:12:00,338
You become the person who
sees conspiracies in toys,
215
00:12:00,638 --> 00:12:02,258
and that's exactly the point.
216
00:12:02,568 --> 00:12:04,427
The surveillance works
better when it's dismissed.
217
00:12:04,848 --> 00:12:06,858
When people who mention
it are marginalized.
218
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:11,447
When the truth is protected by
the very incredulity it generates.
219
00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:13,488
They didn't just create
a listening device.
220
00:12:13,798 --> 00:12:16,548
They created the social dynamic
that prevents you from talking
221
00:12:16,558 --> 00:12:18,878
about the listening device
without losing credibility.
222
00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:22,477
Your own doubt is the security system.
223
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:27,638
And the worst part, the part that should
keep you awake, is that this technology
224
00:12:27,758 --> 00:12:31,727
was primitive, clumsy, a proof of concept.
225
00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:33,847
Because here's what they learned from it.
226
00:12:33,848 --> 00:12:34,907
The concept worked.
227
00:12:35,308 --> 00:12:38,698
Consumers would invite surveillance
into their homes if it was packaged as
228
00:12:38,698 --> 00:12:41,147
cuteness, and so the program evolved.
229
00:12:41,508 --> 00:12:46,287
In twenty seventeen, the German Federal
Network Agency banned My Friend Cayla, a
230
00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:51,767
doll made by Genesis Toys, and classified
it as an illegal espionage apparatus.
231
00:12:52,117 --> 00:12:54,827
Not a privacy concern, not a safety issue.
232
00:12:55,148 --> 00:12:57,737
An illegal espionage apparatus.
233
00:12:58,617 --> 00:13:01,228
The FTC received formal complaints.
234
00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:04,337
Parents were instructed
to destroy the dolls.
235
00:13:04,647 --> 00:13:08,957
Cayla was connected to Nuance
Communications, a speech recognition
236
00:13:08,958 --> 00:13:12,887
company with documented law enforcement
and intelligence database relationships.
237
00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:17,057
A doll listening in twenty seventeen.
238
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:18,627
Sound familiar?
239
00:13:18,918 --> 00:13:23,957
That same year, security researchers
demonstrated that Furby Connect could
240
00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:28,957
be turned into a remote listening
device with a simple Bluetooth exploit.
241
00:13:29,297 --> 00:13:32,757
And before that, the VTech data
breach exposed the personal records
242
00:13:32,757 --> 00:13:34,717
of six point four million children.
243
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,887
The pipeline didn't start with smart toys.
244
00:13:37,297 --> 00:13:41,347
It started with yarn hair and button
eyes and an adoption certificate
245
00:13:41,348 --> 00:13:42,957
you signed with your own hand.
246
00:13:43,537 --> 00:13:47,858
COPPA, the Children's Online Privacy
Protection Act, was supposed to stop this.
247
00:13:48,117 --> 00:13:49,557
Passed in nineteen ninety-eight.
248
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:52,977
It created legal frameworks for
children's digital privacy that
249
00:13:52,977 --> 00:13:54,928
the FTC was supposed to enforce.
250
00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:57,217
And yet, My Friend Cayla happened anyway.
251
00:13:57,567 --> 00:14:02,017
The VTech breach happened anyway
because the law assumes good
252
00:14:02,017 --> 00:14:03,627
faith from the manufacturer.
253
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:07,347
And if nineteen eighty-three
taught us anything, good faith was
254
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,878
never part of the product design.
255
00:14:10,078 --> 00:14:17,192
The Cabbage Patch Kids were a test, a very
successful test Xavier Roberts licensed
256
00:14:17,202 --> 00:14:22,042
a stolen design to a defense-adjacent
corporation that embedded undocumented
257
00:14:22,042 --> 00:14:25,962
components in millions of units,
registered each one through an adoption
258
00:14:25,962 --> 00:14:29,922
certificate system, and then went
bankrupt at exactly the right moment
259
00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:32,252
for the evidence to just disappear.
260
00:14:32,701 --> 00:14:34,332
Hasbro inherited the brand.
261
00:14:34,562 --> 00:14:37,531
Original Appalachian
Artworks retained the IP.
262
00:14:37,802 --> 00:14:39,701
The chain of custody is perfect.
263
00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:43,072
The chain of accountability
is, well, nonexistent.
264
00:14:43,722 --> 00:14:47,082
Every doll that was thrown away
was a destroyed piece of evidence.
265
00:14:47,652 --> 00:14:52,181
Every collector who keeps theirs
locked in plastic is protecting proof.
266
00:14:52,441 --> 00:14:55,422
And every parent who never knew
what was in their childâs bedroom
267
00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:59,672
was part of an experiment whose
results youâre still living inside.
268
00:15:00,511 --> 00:15:01,201
And the microphone?
269
00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:04,582
Well, it was always listening.
270
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:08,912
This has been Some Unapproved Thinking.
271
00:15:10,401 --> 00:15:11,492
Tracy out.
272
00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:13,311
Next, next.
273
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:16,511
If this story didnât sit
right with you, good.
274
00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,411
Youâre not here to be comforted.
275
00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:21,361
Youâre here to see what others overlook.
276
00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:23,392
Thanks for exploring Some Unapproved
277
00:15:26,811 --> 00:15:27,371
Thinking.
278
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:28,221
Learn more at someunapprovedthinking.com.
279
00:15:28,731 --> 00:15:30,551
New episodes drop weekly.
280
00:15:30,991 --> 00:15:36,442
Subscribe, share, and keep questioning
because the patternâs still playing
281
00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:39,181
out, and next time, weâre going deeper